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Sex aids or sex toys devices made to vary or enhance pleasure
during sexual activity. They are used primarily on the genitals or
around the genitals, but some can be used on other parts of the body
as well. People use them when they are on their own or with partners.
On the whole, people who use sex aids do not use them every single
time they engage in sex nor do they always use the same aid on each
occasion.
The list of sex aids is a long one. They are usually sold in
special erotica shops or through mail order catalogues. Some of the
more common ones include the following:
Vibrators
Vibrators are electrical machines powered by batteries or
plugged into electrical outlets. They come in different sizes and
shapes; some have variable speed controls to allow the user to
personalize the intensity of the stimulation.
The more popular kinds of personal vibrators are battery powered,
cylindrical or penis shaped in different diameters and lengths, and
sometimes come with attachments for different parts of the body.
The sexual sensations produced by a vibrator can be both intense
and rapidly felt. Vibrators must be used gently on sensitive body
tissue. Some people use a towel between the skin and the vibrator to
cut down on the intensity of the sensation. Using a water-based
lubricant can also make a vibrator more comfortable and
stimulating.
Vibrators, especially AC-powered models, are never to be used in
or with water, and battery powered models may overheat if used for
extended periods of time.
Ben Wa
Balls
This device, which originated in the orient, consists of a
set of two metal balls. One is solid and is placed in the vagina near
the cervix; the other one is partially filled with mercury and is
also placed in the vagina, near the first one. Any movement causes
the mercury filled ball to hit the deeper one, spreading vibrations
through the vaginal area. Women primarily use them on their own, but
they can also be incorporated into sexual activity with a
partner.
Cock
Rings
A cock ring is a metal, leather, or rubber ring-shaped
device, usually from 1 1/2 to 2 inches in diameter. The testicles and
the erect penis are slipped through the ring, which fits tightly,
putting pressure on the dorsal vein of the penis. The idea is that
the cock ring will keep the blood that has engorged the penis from
flowing out. The man will therefore retain his erection longer and,
theoretically, be able to prolong his sexual activity. Some men also
wear cock rings when they want their genitals to look larger under
their pants. Proper fit is important so that the penis and testicles
do not get bruised. Caution is needed not to wear the rings too
tightly or for an extended period of time, since they act as a
tourniquet limiting blood flow and can cause severe damage to the
genitals.
Erotic Creams,
Lotions and Oils
These come in various scents and flavors and are primarily
designed to make caressing and massage more sensuous, though some are
used as lubricants for intercourse. The sensations and scents of
creams, lotions and oils on the skin can be arousing for some people.
The flavor of the cream or oil is often important for couples who
want to have oral sex or like to kiss their partner's body all
over.
French
Ticklers
French ticklers are devices that fit over the penis and are
designed to tickle and increase sensation in the vagina during
intercourse. These devices are pre-shaped (unlike condoms, which come
rolled up) and their surfaces are equipped with ridges and small
probes. French ticklers can be reused after thorough washing. It is
important to note that while they fit over the penis in a fashion
similar to condoms, they are NOT birth control devices
Leather
Garments and Accessories
Leather has a distinctly erotic appeal for some people. It is
a common element in sadomasochistic fantasies used to express
dominance . Some people get excited if threatened by someone who is
clothed in leather or who is using leather implements. The dominant
person (sadist) in these scenarios also usually derives pleasure from
the wearing or use of leather. Leather is also used in bondage and
discipline in the form of harnesses or straps.
Masturbator
for men
These are devices with soft, usually latex sleeves, often
designed to resemble the female vagina, into which a man can place
his erect penis. If this sexual aid is an electrically or battery
powered model, it can be controlled by the user to operate at varying
desired speeds to create a rhythmic motion, stimulating the man to
reach orgasm and ejaculate.
Penis
Extenders
A penis extender is a hollow penis-shaped device that is
placed over the end of the penis to make it seem larger. Usually it
is held in place by straps or a harness that goes around the
waist.
The Use Of Sex
Toys acceptance
The use of sex aids and sex toys is not readily accepted by
all. For the most part sex toys are designed solely to increase
pleasure. Because our society is in conflict over the rightness of
sexual pleasure, it is not surprising that sex toys are subject to
numerous myths and controversies. Some of the more common
misconceptions are: that the use of sexual aids is a sign of being a
pervert; that using sexual devices in a relationship is a sign that
the relationship is not going well; people who use sexual aids become
addicted to them; and homosexuals use sex aids more that
heterosexuals do. None of these, of course, is true.
Nonetheless, many people feel ambivalent about using sex aids.
They may feel that using mechanical devices during intimate moments
is unnatural, depersonalizing or replacing their partner. While these
concerns may have merit, it is generally not simply the use of sex
aids that contributes to ill feelings, but how they are used and what
their use means to an individual or to a couple. If the use of sexual
aids objectifies or depersonalizes sexual experiences, there may be a
problem in the relationship that requires attention. If people are
using sexual devices as a crutch because they feel inadequate or
inferior, then their negative feelings may need to be explored. Under
circumstances like these, the use of sexual devices can be unhealthy
substitutes for interpersonal relationships.
Some couples find that a healthy relationship can comfortably
accommodate the addition of sex toys. Others may find that after some
experimentation they prefer to do without them. Still others may feel
that their sexual value is threatened by the use of sex aids. An
insecure individual may wonder if his or her partner is using a sex
aid because of dissatisfaction with him or her.
These issues and any others that may be raised as a result of
introducing sexual aids may be seen as an opportunity for individuals
and couples to explore their feelings and discover the problems in
their relationships. It is important to consider, however, that using
sex aids is normal and not using sex aids is normal. It is simply a
matter of individual preference.
Although the majority of sex aids and toys are sold to people who
use them just to enhance their pleasure, some can be used in the
treatment of sexual problems. Videos, audiotapes and written material
can be helpful in assisting an individual or a couple to overcome
anxiety or lack of information. Also, sexual devices can be
particularly helpful for some disabled people whose disability
inhibits their sexual expression. In order to improve communication
and intimacy, marital and sex therapists suggest that couples who
have concerns or fears about the use of sex aids or toys should be
encouraged to talk openly with their partner about their
feelings.
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